Sapie Brothers
The Sapie Brothers are two penguin siblings, named Huma and Stamm, respectively. Both wander around Antarctica with video equipment in hand, almost like they are making a movie. Both of these penguins have a PHD in biology, despite the fact they were never enrolled in Penguin Academy or Penguin State University. Background No one knows much about the Sapie Brothers, all the Snell-Libros know is that they reside in Humana Cathedral and wander across Antarctica with video cameras and film equipment. They also have valid, authentic doctorate certificates they often carry around with them. Strangely, the school they graduated from is not on any map. Has anyone heard of "Harvard University"? Involvement They are always travelling, asking questions to any talking creature they pass, then getting it all on tape. When asked why, the say that it's for a "documentary" for "Portugal". The creature being interviewed almost always responds with "Don't you mean Dorkugal?" Furthermore, they are always very curious about 90-150 and consistently ask everyone about The Humana Cathedral Papers. Unfortunately, few people have ever read the papers, but for everyone they ask, it adds another creature to the list of HCP hunters. Quotes/Interviews Explorer 767: (meeting the brothers for the first time) Who are you? Stamm: We're the Sapie Brothers. We're interviewing people-- I mean, penguins so we can make a documentary on Antarctica. Explorer: (suspiciously) Why? Huma: For, er... research purposes. Stamm: Yeah! We're going to send it to Portugal! Explorer: ...don't you mean "Dorkugal"? Huma: (annoyed at Stamm) Yes... "Dorkugal"... Explorer: I suggest you go to the SnellBook library. They have way more information there than I could tell you. Stamm: (confused) SnellBook? Huma nudges Stamm aggressively. Stamm: (correcting himself at high speed) Oh, yes, SnellBook! We'll be right there! Explorer: Good! *slams the door into the brothers' faces* Huma: (to Stamm) Loser. ---- (They come back a few minutes later) Explorer: Now what? Huma: We'd like to interview you on The Humana Cathedral Papers. Explorer: What?! Stamm: (reassuringly) We just wanna know about them. Explorer: Why? Huma: ... Explorer: Alright, that's it, freaks! No more interviews! I am not telling you anything about those papers! Understand? Stamm: But-- Explorer: But what? (Both brothers fall speechless.) Explorer: You know, there are two reasons I'm not telling you anything. First of all, both of you are getting increasingly annoying. (Silence) Explorer: Second, I have never seen a penguin with a mark on their chest patch that says, "I AM A PENGUIN". Stamm: That's because-- (Explorer slams the door in the brothers' faces) ---- Fred 676: (meeting the brothers for the first time) Who are you? Stamm: We're the Sapie Brothers. We're interviewing penguins so we can make a documentary on Antarctica. Fred: (suspiciously) Why? Huma: For research purposes. Stamm: We're sending it to Portugal! Fred: ...um, don't you mean Dorkugal? Huma: (looking at Stamm) Yes. (under his breath) Dorkugal. Fred: So who have you interviewed? Stamm: Well, there was this guy called Explorer 767-- Fred: And what did he say? Huma: To go to SnellBook. Fred: Exactly what I would have said myself. *slams the door in the brothers' faces* ---- Jacko: (Meeting the brothers) Vell? Who are vou? Stamm: GAH! THE PUMPKIN! IT LIVES! (Stamm attempts to run away, but Huma grabs him and pulls him back) Huma: Heh heh... of course it lives! This is my brother, Doctor Stamm. He's spastic. Stamm: Hey! Jacko: So, vhy did you climb 'zee mountain to meet 've? Huma: We're making a documentary. Stamm: Yeah! Then we're sending it to Portugal! Jacko: Vhat? You vean "Dorkugal", vight? (Huma nudges Stamm again') Stamm: Yes... Dorkugal. Huma: I told you he was spastic. Stamm: Hey! I AM NOT SPASTIC! Huma: See? Huma: Anyway, have you ever heard of The Humana Cathedral Papers? Jacko: (suspiciously) Ves, I do. Vhy do you vant to know? Huma: Well, we live in Humana Cathedral, and we were just curious. Jacko: Vell, all I know is that 'zee papers are from another country, written by another species vot like our own. Huma: Fascinating. Have any more information? The penguins back at Por- I mean Dorkugal would love this. (''The Jacko smiles, he always wanted to be in a movie!) Jacko: Vell, a Snell-'Zibro viretapped a phone conversation between two nasally voices. The sounded a vot like yours. (The brothers look at each other, then look back at the Jacko.) Jacko: Don't vorry, it's not you, a lot of creatures have 'zee funny accents. Stamm: Is your accent Austrian or Russian, perchance? Jacko: (confused) Vhat? Vhat's an Austrian and a Vrussian? My accent is 'zee Lantern Dialect, for 'zee record. Huma: Oh. My brother loves to... um, make up words! (Dr. Huma rubs the back of his head with those mittens.) Huma: Heh heh... so, got anymore information? Jacko: Ves- Vait. Vhy do you live in 'zee Humana Cathedral? (Doctor Humana and Doctor Stamm exchange blank glances) Stamm: Uh... um... er... it's... roomy. Huma: ...Yeah, it's... roomy. Jacko: Don't vou know? Stamm: Know what? Jacko: 'Zee place is filled with 'zee monsters! (Stamm is shaking like a leaf) Huma: Oh really? Jacko: Ves! Zhey say that featherless, beak-lacking, skinny vammals live vhere. It's very scary, vindeed. Huma: We've been in there. Nothing but dust and old furniture. Stamm: Do you know where SnellBook is? Jacko: Vell... take the Antarctic Express vown to Snellville. Vou can't miss vit. Stamm: Snellville? That's a town in Georg- (Huma slaps his mitten on Stamm's "beak".) Huma: Thank you... talking pumpkin. Jacko: Vhatever. ---- (At Slapper Junct., Pengolia, on the Antarctic Express) Announcer: (over intercom) This is the end of the track. From here, you can take a Skyline to Ternville or Freezeland. Thank you for riding on the Antarctic Express! Stamm: Now what? Huma: (pointing to Penghis Khan, who is surrounded by guards) Look! Someone to interview. (The brothers camly walk over to Penghis Khan) Penghis Khan: (in heavy Pengolian accent) Who are you? Stamm: We're the Sapie brothers. We're making a documentary to send to Portugal. Khan: You mean Dorkugal. Ha, the penguins over there are annoying Penghis Khan, wanting him to build ships with them. Ha! Stamm: Why are you talking in the third person? Khan: (sitting upright, alert) Did you just insult Penghis Khan? Stamm: Er-- (Khan fish-slaps Stamm) Khan: How dare you! *slap* You-*slap*-shall never--*slap*--ever--*slap*--insult Penghis Khan--*slap*--again! *slap* Huma: Sorry about my brother, he's being spastic again. Anyways, do you know how to get to SnellBook, O Most Mighty-- er, Khan? Khan: (while fish-slapping Stamm) Just take a Skyline to Freezeland. Then travel by train to Snellville. You can trust Penghis Khan! Huma: Thank you. *drags his brother out the door* ---- (At Rocket Junct., Snellville, on the Antarctic Express) Stamm: Now what? Huma: Easy. We look for this "SnellBook", or whatever it is. (Just then, Snelder passes by) Snelder: Hello, who are you? Stamm: (to Huma) Gosh, that's the biggest snail I have ever seen! (Huma shoves Stamm warningly) Huma: We're the Sapie Brothers. We're making a film for Port-- I mean, Dorkugal. Can you help us find SnellBook? Snelder: SnellBook? Bah, I could tell you a whole lot more info than what they have! Huma: Could you help us? Snelder: Sure! (Snelder starts one of his long, boring stories. Both brothers fall asleep.) Two hours later... Snelder:... and so, the USA was formed. Well, d'you like it? (notices the brothers are asleep) Oh, bother. I wonder why everyone does that. Trivia * While Doctor Huma is very irritable and grumpy (not at all like any other penguin), Doctor Stamm is extremely hyper and always in others' business. * These two brothers work together on their "film", but Huma often gets mad at Stamm. * It is very clear that Huma is the leader of the two, as well as the older brother. * Most creatures, including G, F, and most other prominent creatures believe these are just funny looking penguins making a film. *However, a small handful of creatures doubt this. The "doubters" are: Explorer, Fred 676, the Snell-Libros, Barkjon, Happyface141, 24Keyser, and Aqua Jet. If you doubt what the Sapie brothers are up to, you may add yourself here. * Stamm constantly refers to Dorkugal as "Portugal", and the Dorkugese as the "Portugese". Many creatures find that weird. *The brothers claim they graduated in "Harvard University". The only-ever mention of this "Harvard University" is in the Furry Flats' rendition of "The Elements Song" by Tom Lehrer. The last lines go: :These are the only ones of which the news has come to '''Harvard' :And there may be many others but they haven't been discovered. Of course, the Furry Flats have no clue about Harvard University, they say they "were hunting through a couple of records and found this song." *The Sapie Brothers both have a weird black mark around their cheeks. Most people think they are Chinstrap Penguins due to this, but the doubters argue that the brothers are way too tall to be Chinstraps. Or any other kind of penguin, for that matter. * Doctor Stamm is very spastic. See also * Humana Cathedral * The Humana Cathedral Papers Category:Penguins